Ain't Enough

        Can't help feeling like I'm not doing enough. Went to church this morning and smiled and felt so proud of the work that some are doing for the community.

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 I don't know where I belong or if what I do even makes a difference. Inundated with caring for kids and elderly parents I am stuck.

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 If I give too much "here" then "there " gets no attention.

If I give too much "there" then "here" gets none too.

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 So I'm stuck In a world of not enough.

I find myself giving less than I should.
Wanting to give more I am stuck in this corner of self doubt and just plain exhaustion with no rest in sight...

 And what makes things worse...

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There's no freaking chocolate in the house!

49

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          When I turned 39 I spent the entire last year in my thirties dreading the big 4-0
                                    

                       I thought absolutely everything that I did not achieve in life and that really made me sad.
                                        
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40 came and went and then came 41 and 42 ...etc.


A few years back I started to write again

     a few years back I started to dream again

              and I have decided that it is never too late.
          
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I am now in my last year in my forties and I intend to make this a great year

   a great year.
                          
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to many it will seem ordinary, but I have  decided to make every single moment count



I will dive into my faith with abandon
                        
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My Children who have always known they were first in my life will also see a Mom who dreams, and LIVES
                         
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I will finish that manuscript that I have  been dragging behind me like a ball and chain
                                             
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and if someone wants to read and publish it...well that will be gravy



It will get done


             so come on 49
                                  
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                                       lets see what ya got

Alone~~~YaHoo!

I dreamt of it


I wanted it so badly


The house all to myself was a dream

   a wish that somehow would never ever happen...So I thought



Daughter at a sleepover...that resulted in an invitation to spend the whole day.

Husband and son at an all-day fishing trip

Just me and my thoughts here

what to do what to do?

Wish finally came true

Playing my 80's music, sliding across the floor like Tom Cruise in Risky Business

Eating cold chicken and watching a girly flick

It doesn't get any better than this


well, it could be better...



I wish the family had taken the dog with them
                                
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                  He's crampin' my style

Walking With Mom

          She used to be so fast



          I would complain that she walked too fast for me



  As she now walks slowly and cautiously
                                                with the aid of a walker



The memories of her fast strides are replaced with

                       me slowing the pace so that she
          
                                can walk with me




               Momma, don't worry take your time...


                     I'll be right here by your side

Mowing

Every Saturday Morning my neighbor  likes to mow his lawn


Every Saturday morning at 7:30


              7:30 AM


'nough said


Now my question to you is...



Do you think God would forgive me for wishing
                                
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            to strike my neighbor?




How about a little bolt?

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How about a torrential storm with hail?
                                    
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Big Hail?

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So if you read about a guy mowing his grass early.... too early and being hit by the biggest hail stone in the world.....then you'll know that God had enough of him too!

Panties

Panties...


Yes, I'm going there.

My mother has baby pictures of me wearing those frilly panties with the ruffles on the back.


Aunts and grandmas lifting my dress to ooo and ahhh at the darling underwear that covered my diaper
                               
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Then came the cotton briefs. They were comfy and came in four colors..White, Pink, Blue and Yellow. I could care less. They served their purpose.


Then something happened...in my late teens/early twenties I chose to abandon the comfy cozies and instead opted to torture my bottom with THE THONG.


I was told that Visible panty lines were worse than a unibrow


The only way to correct that fashion faux pas was to wear two little patches that were attached by a string.
                                                 

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A thin, irritating, yeast-infection-attracting string.

The first time I had one on It felt like I was wearing barbed wire.



I tried to ignore it. I went about my day, but all I kept hearing in my head was take it off! take it off! I can't wait to take it off!



I held out and eventually I got used to wearing them. But they never felt comfy cozy. Barbed wire never does




As I got older my heels became shorter, Designer jeans were replaced with old navy sale jeans and sexy red lipstick was replaced with chapstick




 Victoria Secrets and I broke up




and I have since had a long, loving relationship with Hanes for her.
                   
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P.S. This is not a paid endorsement, but if Hanes Execs would like to fork over some cashola...This V.P.L showin' girl will not say no

AHHHHHHH Moments

AHHHHHHH Moments


                  unzipping tight jeans
                         
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                            taking off five inch heels



                                     peeling off spanx



The moment you finish cleaning your home for the holidays

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December 26th




wrapping your frozen hands around a cup of hot cocoa

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successfully hiding from the annoying gossip neighbor in the store
                       
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having someone scratch that itch on your back




Resting your head on a cool fluffy pillow




peeing in peace...no knocking whining or fighting on the other side of the bathroom door.....Bliss
              
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AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

The Dog

Dog hair

        Dog Hair EVERYWHERE!
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I have vacuumed three times today


The front storm door never looks clean because the dog presses his wet nose against it


He scratched the paint off the window sill, because he is always on the lookout for squirrels
                                
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He tracks in mud
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and he just pee'd on my potted rose bush...again
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I yell ...

   "Who was the idiot that decided we needed a dog!?"





The whole family in unison yells back... 



                              "YOU!"


Yep, it was me.


I look at the dog, smile and pat his head

How to walk in heels

Recently I went shopping with a friend.

          We hit all the stores in the outlet

                  Then we hit the shoe store


She tried on heels that I felt were impossible to walk in.

She walked perfectly fine
                                      



I tried some on and tried not to fall flat on my face
                                     
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All I did was show everyone in that store how NOT to walk in heels


I hope they appreciated my tutorial




But if you need a bit more help...here is a short video
                       
           
                   uploaded by:  FashionTechnology

Or you can be like me and stop the madness and just wear flats!
                       

A Chance to Relax

Finally.... a chance to ....
                                  
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             It's quiet here.


                        And it's clean here


          If I wanted to I could even read my magazine


But not now.


I just want to enjoy the....
                                  
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KNOCK! KNOCK! KNOCK!
                         
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            "Mama, I have to go to the bathroom!"




My little sanctuary............ruined
                                        
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Time for Peanut Butter

Time for peanut butter
                       
                    
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                   YUCK!


My son doesn't like regular sandwiches like ham and cheese or turkey on rye

                                               
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Even the BLT's are taken apart so that he eats the B, then the L then the T

He will however occasionally eat a plain old peanut butter sandwich for his school lunch.


I haven't purchased peanut butter since the end of the school year in June.


It's on my grocery list today.



I guess back to school is really gonna happen
I guess the end of the summer is nearing
no more flip flops



Time for peanut butter...

                                          
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Tornado

Tornado.
              
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That's what I am blaming it on.


       My house looks like a tornado passed through, followed by a hurricane, sprinkled in an earthquake or two and it was finished off with a mud slide.



But it all started off with a tornado






a small, cute little boy tornado.
                                    
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Are You a Good Arguer?

Are you a good arguer ( sheez, is that even a word?)
                         
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when someone hurts your feelings can you respond appropriately or do you babble something akin to the old
                                    
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"I know you are, but what I'm I?"





I am an excellent arguer ( spell check tells me this is a word, but it just looks weird)

I am an excellent arguer... after the fact.
                              
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I can come up with the greatest wittiest responses about an hour after the altercation or even late that night while asleep.

I will sit up in bed and yell...



 "Oh Yeah?! Your momma!"



now that I think of it...maybe I'm not good during or after

Pain

Yesterday I felt fine....then the aches started to creep in.

My back felt like it was in knots

The knots got tighter

Until it became one big fat ball of pain

Which made me sleep like this last night
                                   
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Needless to say, I woke up in even more pain and so very tired.

But being the ever optimist.....


at least now I can audition to be one of the Disney characters in Disney world
                                                     
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Have a great Sunday!
God Bless, J

Who Reads Your Blog?

2nd post.


I didn't really think there would be any comments on the last post...in fact I would have been very very surprised if there had been.


anyhoo,  I think I will start this post with a question.

Who reads your blog?

When you first started your blog what was the reaction from the people you told?

Luke warm?

They they sort of frown and ask " Why?"

Been there done that. In fact, one of my good friends said "well, what if I don't like anything that you write?

not..." Hey, good for you!"

no ..." I'll have to check it out!"

just...."What if I don't like it?"

I should have known better. As time passed by and more and more followers appeared to follow the blog I was thrilled, but also confused that the people nearest to me did not read my blog at all.


What was up with that?

I got over it and suddenly I realized that it would have been better if they didn't know about the blog at all. You see there inevitably is a big difference in your writing when you actually know the people that are reading your blog.

If they are virtual strangers you can write about how filthy dirty your house is and how the same dishes have occupied your sink for the last two days...people in Blogland would comment with tons of LOLs and Me Toos

But it ain't so cool if the women at church read that little tasty bit of information

So who reads your blog? Did you tell everyone that you were writing a blog? ...or are you a covert 007 kind of blogger?


For the record there are no dirty dishes in my sink right now...just sayin'