Ain't Enough

        Can't help feeling like I'm not doing enough. Went to church this morning and smiled and felt so proud of the work that some are doing for the community.

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 I don't know where I belong or if what I do even makes a difference. Inundated with caring for kids and elderly parents I am stuck.

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 If I give too much "here" then "there " gets no attention.

If I give too much "there" then "here" gets none too.

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 So I'm stuck In a world of not enough.

I find myself giving less than I should.
Wanting to give more I am stuck in this corner of self doubt and just plain exhaustion with no rest in sight...

 And what makes things worse...

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There's no freaking chocolate in the house!

49

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          When I turned 39 I spent the entire last year in my thirties dreading the big 4-0
                                    

                       I thought absolutely everything that I did not achieve in life and that really made me sad.
                                        
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40 came and went and then came 41 and 42 ...etc.


A few years back I started to write again

     a few years back I started to dream again

              and I have decided that it is never too late.
          
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I am now in my last year in my forties and I intend to make this a great year

   a great year.
                          
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to many it will seem ordinary, but I have  decided to make every single moment count



I will dive into my faith with abandon
                        
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My Children who have always known they were first in my life will also see a Mom who dreams, and LIVES
                         
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I will finish that manuscript that I have  been dragging behind me like a ball and chain
                                             
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and if someone wants to read and publish it...well that will be gravy



It will get done


             so come on 49
                                  
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                                       lets see what ya got

Alone~~~YaHoo!

I dreamt of it


I wanted it so badly


The house all to myself was a dream

   a wish that somehow would never ever happen...So I thought



Daughter at a sleepover...that resulted in an invitation to spend the whole day.

Husband and son at an all-day fishing trip

Just me and my thoughts here

what to do what to do?

Wish finally came true

Playing my 80's music, sliding across the floor like Tom Cruise in Risky Business

Eating cold chicken and watching a girly flick

It doesn't get any better than this


well, it could be better...



I wish the family had taken the dog with them
                                
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                  He's crampin' my style

Walking With Mom

          She used to be so fast



          I would complain that she walked too fast for me



  As she now walks slowly and cautiously
                                                with the aid of a walker



The memories of her fast strides are replaced with

                       me slowing the pace so that she
          
                                can walk with me




               Momma, don't worry take your time...


                     I'll be right here by your side

Mowing

Every Saturday Morning my neighbor  likes to mow his lawn


Every Saturday morning at 7:30


              7:30 AM


'nough said


Now my question to you is...



Do you think God would forgive me for wishing
                                
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            to strike my neighbor?




How about a little bolt?

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How about a torrential storm with hail?
                                    
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Big Hail?

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So if you read about a guy mowing his grass early.... too early and being hit by the biggest hail stone in the world.....then you'll know that God had enough of him too!

Panties

Panties...


Yes, I'm going there.

My mother has baby pictures of me wearing those frilly panties with the ruffles on the back.


Aunts and grandmas lifting my dress to ooo and ahhh at the darling underwear that covered my diaper
                               
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Then came the cotton briefs. They were comfy and came in four colors..White, Pink, Blue and Yellow. I could care less. They served their purpose.


Then something happened...in my late teens/early twenties I chose to abandon the comfy cozies and instead opted to torture my bottom with THE THONG.


I was told that Visible panty lines were worse than a unibrow


The only way to correct that fashion faux pas was to wear two little patches that were attached by a string.
                                                 

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A thin, irritating, yeast-infection-attracting string.

The first time I had one on It felt like I was wearing barbed wire.



I tried to ignore it. I went about my day, but all I kept hearing in my head was take it off! take it off! I can't wait to take it off!



I held out and eventually I got used to wearing them. But they never felt comfy cozy. Barbed wire never does




As I got older my heels became shorter, Designer jeans were replaced with old navy sale jeans and sexy red lipstick was replaced with chapstick




 Victoria Secrets and I broke up




and I have since had a long, loving relationship with Hanes for her.
                   
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P.S. This is not a paid endorsement, but if Hanes Execs would like to fork over some cashola...This V.P.L showin' girl will not say no

AHHHHHHH Moments

AHHHHHHH Moments


                  unzipping tight jeans
                         
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                            taking off five inch heels



                                     peeling off spanx



The moment you finish cleaning your home for the holidays

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December 26th




wrapping your frozen hands around a cup of hot cocoa

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successfully hiding from the annoying gossip neighbor in the store
                       
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having someone scratch that itch on your back




Resting your head on a cool fluffy pillow




peeing in peace...no knocking whining or fighting on the other side of the bathroom door.....Bliss
              
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AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH